Her Miracle
by TheSilentPrincess
Summary: She didn't believe in miracles, especially not after Neal died, but fate always had a way of proving her wrong.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: *Reappears from the shadows***

When she was a little girl, one of the nicer older women from one of her group home's was pregnant. Emma remembered being mystified that a tiny human could grow in something as confined as a human body, and would attach herself to the woman whenever she could just to learn more. As a girl of only six, she became really confused when the news broke that the father of the baby was not for sure the father and the words whore and home wrecker were starting to get thrown around by the other adults and the older kids. Emma just could not wrap her head around why it should matter who the father was. The pregnant woman was nice, and she would make an excellent mother, wasn't that all that mattered?

Of course, as she got older, Emma learned why it mattered, and found herself now, in her early thirties, wondering whatever happened to the woman who's name she couldn't seem to remember.

She sighed, and tried to steady her shaky hand as she undid the lock of her bathroom door. She couldn't even remember why exactly she locked it, she was the only one home and Henry and Killian were out on the ship and wouldn't be back for hours.

Maybe she locked it because part of her was expecting her mother to burst in the house in all her mothering glory, with a pot of soup. Or maybe she was expecting her pirate fiance to cut his bonding trip with her son short, just so he could make sure she was alright. Either way, as she opened the door to the still empty house, the whole thing seemed silly.

She checked her cell and frowned when nothing but the time stared back at her. Now that she knew, she would do anything for a distraction. Someone calling about how Leroy was drunk again, or Archie calling to be annoying, anything. Apparently the residents of Storybrooke decided not to need their savior on the day where she wouldn't really have minded saving.

Maybe she should have went out on the water with the boys. Maybe she should have waited to make a trip to the drugstore for another day. Part of her even regretted the decision not to ask Regina for the magical alternative, because if she did, at least someone would know and she would not have to spend the next several hours going crazy.

Or as it turned out several days.

Yeah, whoever said the savior was brave was delusional.

She spent a week fending of Killian's worries with telling him that it was just that time of month, which the pirate full heartedly believed, even with the lack of tampon wrappers in the bathroom garbage. She just avoided her parents as much as possible, knowing Snow would guess right away, and when she met Regina in her vault and the smoke and whatever else from the potion that she was concocting that day got to her, she admitted that she might have a stomach bug.

Except she knew it definitely wasn't.

And she knew she had to tell her family.

Which is why the night of the potion accident (as she decided to fondly refer to it as) she found herself opening the drawer of her nightstand, digging beneath a bottle of allergy medication and grabbing the plastic snack bag that she had stashed there.

As soon as she grabbed it, her hands started shaking again, and she softly cursed, glancing down at the test and noticing the small pink plus line was faded a little. Of course she didn't think of that when she originally stashed it, but then again, it didn't really matter, what reason would Killian have not to believe her anyways?

 _Whore…_

The nasty set of words got louder and louder in her mind as she searched the nantucket home for Killian. She tried to push them completely away with a big mental shove when she eventually found him in the kitchen attempting to perfect his cooking skills.

She almost smiled as she glancet at the eggs in the frying pan he held with his good hand. Breakfast for dinner. It seemed like him. Henry would be ecstatic.

"What's that, love?" He turned around and glanced at her briefly when she scooted up on the counter opposite the one he was using for his ingredients. He was already used to his housemates obvious dislike of actual chairs.

"A bag." She answered as normally as she could, crinkling the plastic between her fingers.

He fought an eye roll. "Emma, don't be coy, Whatever is in there is bothering you, I can already tell."

Somehow that sentence made her feel even more guilty. "Well, it's um…..well, it's….." She gulped and quickly chastised herself, when did she become such a coward? "A pregnancy test."

"Yeah?" Hook grabbed a metal spatula from the drawer, finding Emma's nervousness to be just a little amusing. "Used I assume. What's the result?"

"I took it last week, the last time you took Henry sailing." Emma supplied. "And its positive."

At that, the pirate set the spatula down and turned around completely. "You sat on a positive test for a week?"

"Well...uh...yeah." Emma admitted. It was exactly what she did.

He seemed to sigh "Why, love?"

As soon as the question came out of his mouth, the answer she had prepared for it all of the sudden went out the window. _Because it might not be yours._ Try as she might, she just couldn't utter that sentence. No matter how stupid and suspicious she knew she must look with her mouth hanging open.

"Did you think that I wouldn't be happy?" He prodded her. "Did you think that ...I don't know. That if you didn't tell me, it would just go away so that you could fit in your wedding dress?" He shook his head, knowing how stupid that sentence sounded. "I mean, what Emma?"

Both of those would be pretty good excuses, she had to admit. She could have told him any number of things that made sense and he would have believed her. She nervously hit her heel of her boot on the lower cabinets, fighting with herself. When she finally opened her mouth again, a spiral of smoke caught her eye from behind his head.

"You're burning the eggs!"

* * *

" _Impressive."_

 _He scared her half to death, and he knew it too, if the smirk on his face when she jumped and turned around meant anything._

" _Go away." She scowled as she holstered her gun and began walking away._

" _Aw, after I walked all this way?" He pretended to pout, straightening himself out from leaning against a tree._

 _She sighed, annoyed. "That gunshot meant nothing to you"_

" _Well, I did say it was impressive so that's obviously not true."_

 _She rolled her eyes but otherwise didn't respond, instead choosing to just keep walking._

 _He chuckled to himself and kept following, almost tripping over a tree root as he kept trying to see the look on her face._

 _She eventually pursed her lips. "This search is a one man job."_

" _First of all, if its a one man job, I should do it, because I am the one with the penis here, and secondly, I thought you were searching...well, for someone. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that gunshot more than likely scared them off."_

 _She stopped and opened her mouth to say something, but just ended up scoffing and shaking her head. "I was angry." She eventually mumbled._

" _Obviously." He glanced skywards at the sun getting ready to set. "You seem to have a lot of pent up emotions these days. Maybe you need to find a outlet for them."_

 _Emma snorted. "That's why I have my gun."_

" _Yeah, but bullets are expensive." All of the sudden he was in front of her, grabbing her elbows gently._

" _Neal! I…." She began to protest, trying to jerk away._

" _Shhh." He backed her up against the tree. "Your father has it handled, that's what I was coming to tell you before I heard the gunshot."_

" _He could have just called." She muttered looking up at him, knowing that she should probably sidestep him or something to escape his warm breath and intense stare._

" _Take that up with him, I on the other hand, liked this way better. It gives as an excuse to finally talk."_

" _Talk about what?" She shivered slightly. "There's nothing to-"_

 _But from the way his lips crashed desperately against hers before she could even finish the sentence, they did have a whole lot to talk about. A whole hell of a lot._

* * *

When Emma jerked out of the dream, she glanced at her unforgiving alarm clock and it informed her that it was just past two in the morning. She laid there for a few moments trying to shake away the feeling the dream left, knowing full well that it was no use, that it was a little more than just a dream. All the things that were said, all the things that happened, really happened that night in the dark forest, so erasing the feelings, that would be almost impossible. Especially since they never did get to actually talk about anything. He died before they could get a single serious syllable in and that may be the toughest part in all of this. She knew what they felt for eachother, but yet, in a way, she did not.

She sighed again softly as she felt pressure on her bladder, knowing that if she got up, there was absolutely no way she was getting back to sleep. She remembered enough from her first pregnancy though to know that a call of nature could not be ignored though so she said goodbye to her soft warm nest of blankets and shuffled to the bathroom.

"Love?" Came Killians voice, sleep laced all through it.

"Bathroom." She explained quickly and escaped before he could accuse her otherwise. She wasn't sure how long he had been awake for exactly and knew he knew what a bad dream looked like.

 _A troubling one rather,_ she corrected herself as she found herself locking the bathroom once again. She sank down to the cool tile floor eventually, not wanting to go back and lay next to the man that she was keeping some vital information from, but half expecting him to come knocking anyways.

The worst part was that Killian was ecstatic. After she dumped the pan of burnt eggs in the sink and ran cold water on them for eternity, he started with the questions and did not stop until she sent him to Granny's with a list of what she wanted for dinner. While he was gone, she rehearsed exactly how she was going to tell him she might be carrying a dead man's baby instead of his own as she got the table ready, but when he actually walked through the door with the take out bags and announced that he hoped it was a girl, her confidence wavered again.

It wasn't technically lying if she didnt know for sure, was it? And was it so wrong to try and enjoy his happiness, especially since it hadn't shown about anything recently? Was it so wrong that she wanted to be happy, for once, or at least some semblance of the emotion?

Being the savior did not mean she had to be unhappy, but then again, she knew as soon as she thought it that being the savior did not have anything to do with it. It was just an excuse she thrown out there to attempt to excuse her scandalous behaviour. If she had never been the savior in the first place, August would have never her and Neal broke them up, making it so that he would probably be alive today, and also making it so that they would have nine million kids together already. But then again, if she was never named savior, that would mean the curse would have never been cast, making it so that they would have never met.

Or….

She sighed and banged her head against the wall. All of that stuff didn't matter. The hormones were already starting to make her crazy.


	2. Chapter 2

" _Don't worry, babe, my body heat will protect you from the cold." He muttered in her ear as he nibbled on it gently._

 _All she could do it was nod as she let out a slight moan. Half of her was completely aware of what was going to happen, the other half just didnt give a shit, especially when he unzipped the zipper of her jacket and then started to unzip another zipper, without any hesitation, or even asking permission._

 _Then again, her not fighting him to get away from the tree was permission enough._

 _She helped him push her coat off her shoulders, letting it fall on the dirt at their feet and while he was still trying to figure out the button of her jeans, she expertly undid his was as much hesitation as he showed, and let out a impressed noise once she saw what was waiting for her._

 _Yes, he had been planning and thinking about this moment for a while, either that or the sight of her hard nipples that were poking through her bra and her gray t-shirt was enough to make his package twitch in anticipation._

 _Or maybe both…_

* * *

"Uh….mom? We kinda have to go…..?" Henry seemed unsure as he broke her out of her daydream.

"Uh, yeah, sure, sure. Where's Killian?" She looked at him and grabbed her jacket off the sofa next to her.

He stared at her like she was insane. "Waiting for us? What's wrong? Are you too tired to go or something? Were you sleeping? I couldn't really tell..?"

She sighed and shook her head.

"You look pale." He accused.

"Yeah, kid, that would be because I am, being an adult is exhausting but that does not mean that I can't go." She zipped her jacket and opened the front door. "Grab whatever you need, we're going to be late"

Henry muttered something along the lines of that was exactly what he just said and followed her quickly out the door, down the steps and into the waiting yellow bug.

As Emma started the car, she felt a thing of regret for snapping needlessly at her son, especially since he didn't know why. Not that him knowing why she was always so short all the time would excuse the issue, it definitely wouldn't, but maybe he wouldn't think of her as such a bad mother.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled just as she was turning the bend and the diner came into view. "For snapping I mean, I have been pretty tired." It was a poor excuse but at least it was something, without being technically a lie either.

"I've noticed, it's okay" He swung opened his door immediately after she put the car in park and ran inside causing her to sigh and start thinking of excuses to get out of walking into Granny's herself. Would everyone believe her stomach bug came back? Better yet, did she trust Killian enough to spend hours with all her family alone and not give away the news?

The answer was no, she did not. Trusting him as a whole? Well, she learned to do that, he really did love her after all, but trusting him to keep news he was this excited about to himself? He was bound to let something slip, especially after Snow started giving him her spanish inquisition. Things would just not end up pretty if he didn't go inside. Then again, things may not end up pretty if she did go inside either.

Nonetheless, she locked the bug and pasted a smile on her face, walking in and quickly located Henry and Killian in the normal corner booth the family took up. "See, we weren't late, where is everyone?" She inquired hoping that the rest did not get held up by some magical creature or other mishap that she would be expected to put her efforts into.

"Your mother and father are on the way and Robin called to cancel because Roland is sick."

Emma sighed. Great. Less distractions. _About the whole pregnancy thing, Killian, the baby may not be yours so until I know for sure, can we keep it under wraps so that my parents won't know I'm a slut even though no matter how this plays out I'm definitely going to be named Storybrooke's resident whore?_

Yeah right…..

"I hope I didn't get him sick." She responded for Henry's benefit.

"I highly doubt that." The pirate shrugged after a couple moments of staring at her like she had gone insane. "I reckon he just has a cold."

"He's a complete nightmare when he has a cold." Henry shuddered. "Crybaby. I hate staying there when he's sick."

"Oh, I bet you were just as bad when you were younger." Emma rolled her eyes slightly.

"I highly doubt it….I'm hungry. Can we order?"

At the word hungry, Emma's stomach growled and she nodded, but from the corner of her eye she caught her parents and brother walking towards them. She grabbed Killian's hand and hoped it wouldn't look like she was trying to hard.

"Sorry we're late, a certain someone lost his favorite bear and threw a tantrum that would challenge even Hades." Snow kissed Neals head as she sat down.

"Yeah?" Killian raised an eyebrow. "And where is it now?"

The question caused Snow and David to glance at each other in a silent moment until a word that wasn't the most appropriate for a child Neal's age flew out of Davids mouth and he went running back out the door.

Emma chuckled, earning a glare from her mother. "You laugh now, but when he realizes it's gone, you are going to be the one holding him."

"Well she needs- ow! Swan…" Killian complained painfully as his fiancee kicked him painfully in the shin. "I was just about to say you need time with your brother. You've been telling me you had to go over there for a playdate soon."

Emma held back an eye roll and busied herself with the menu she knew by heart while Snow wondered what exactly just went on.

"Neal would love a playdate." David was back in record time.

"Know what you're having, kid?" Emma ignored them and flagged down a waitress. So far this was not going the way she had hoped. That little slip up did not prepare her for what happened when she decided to order coffee with her grilled cheese and onion rings instead of a hot chocolate.

In her defense, she was more exhausted than she ever thought possible, and she just wasn't thinking.

"Decaf." Killian quickly corrected for her, earning them several confused looks and another kick.

"Despite common belief, I do know how to read and you taught me the magic of google" He muttered in her ear, hopefully low enough so nobody could hear.

"Please don't listen to him. Regular. I need it and one glass never hurt anyone." Emma ignored him and talked to the confused looking waitress.

The waitress nodded and hurried away like she was afraid of witnessing a fight and as soon as she did, Killian got up and went after her, causing Emma to heave a sigh before she got up and went after him, dragging him away. She spoke a couple low, strong words about knocking it off before they made it back to the table.

"Concerned about her bedtime?" David half heartedly joked.

"Have you met Emma? Getting her in bed is never a problem. Can't say I enjoy getting hit with her phone every time her morning alarm goes off, but that's what they mean by relationships are about learning to sacrifice, eh?"

David chuckled, but Snow wasn't having it, her eyes staring at her daughter like they could see right through her soul.

"Emma? Is there something you would like to tell us?" She asked as the waitress set everyone's drinks down.

She tried not to stiffen, she really did, but it happened anyways. "Nothing you don't already know um….we're repainting the living room of the house? We can't seem to decide on a color though, off white or pale blue so we've been bickering about that."

Of course she couldn't fool her mother though and before they all could clear their plates, Snow had practically blurted the words 'you're pregnant' loud enough that the whole diner, no town, could hear.

* * *

 _She moaned out as he started kissing her jawline and traveled down her neck. "Are you wet yet baby?" He purred, maybe prematurely._

" _Maybe you should check and see." She whispered, surprising herself._

 _He smirked, taking that as permission as he stuck two fingers on either side in either side of her jeans and felt her panties. "Did you wear that just for me?"_

" _If that's what you want to think." She briefly remembered the red thong she slipped on earlier._

 _He moaned in response, popping open the her jean button and sliding down her zipper._

* * *

Emma left before everyone was finished, having enough of pretending that she was okay with basically the whole town knowing. Well, more like she was used to it, but this? This was a little below the belt. And Killian!

Killian!

She couldn't even start with him right now. She couldn't even…..

She wanted to be childish, she wanted to lock herself in the station and not go home, make him worry, but being mature as she was she stomped up the stairs and through the front door anyways. Maybe she would get lucky and he would spend the night on the Jolly Roger or maybe he fell into her mother's trap and stayed at Grannies to start planning the wedding' that suddenly had a sense of urgency.

Because she wouldn't be able to fit into her mother's wedding gown? Because she would puke all over the cake? It didn't matter, The wedding was the very last thing she wanted to think about right now. Even more so than normal and to be honest she had done quite a bit of stalling already.

Besides, people could think and say all they wanted about her actions right now, but the fact of the matter was that she would not let Killian get up to that alter without knowing that the child that would be up there with them may not be his. She wasn't that horrible of a person.

Who would get the house if once Killian found out the relationship ended? Would it be him because he's the one who found it in the first place, or would it be her, because she had lived in it alone long before him, so it was kind of like a gift? Could he take the gift back? That wouldn't be very fair, he had his boat, but then again she supposed she could just move in with her parents again. That option might be easier, being a single mom of a new baby and all. They could help out, because goodness knows she was going to need it.

Already assuming that Henry was going to flee to his second house tonight given the cold look he gave her earlier and not caring about anybody else, she pulled the curtains in the master bedroom, kicked off her boots and climbed in bed. The coffee didn't do anything, so she would be stupid not to monopolize on the alone time, no matter how she felt. The only problem was, she was so angry and stressed that she literally couldn't sleep.

After what felt like hours (but was actually only twenty minutes) of tossing and turning and throwing the pirates pillows off the bed so she didn't have to smell the slight scent of rum (which may have just been her imagination!), she grabbed her phone of the nightstand and found herself googling how soon you could do a dna test on a fetus. Eight weeks, Second trimester...there were like five different tests, all with different time frames, all claiming to have different pros and cons...all trying to slut shame her.

Eventually around the fifth article that she was trying to decipher, she realized something vitally important, that made her throw her phone across the room.

In order to do a paternity test, she needed the possible father's dna and despite the fact that she lived with one of them and it would be laughably easy to get Hooks without him knowing, the other possible father was dead.

Neal. Was. Dead.

In other words, she was screwed. Unless…..unless Regina had something in her spell books…

Neal was dead.

No, she was over that. She moved on. She got engaged to Killian. She wasn't allowed to be sad over his death anymore. She had to focus on the baby problem.

Except she was sad, and sometimes it hit her in an inescapable wave of depression that she couldn't get out off. Sometimes she had to give in...

Looks like asking Regina would have to wait. It was ugly sobbing time.

* * *

" _Oh, you are wet" His voice was husky as it spoke in her ear._

 _She nodded, helping him push her jeans lower down her legs, trying to ignore the slightly chilly wind._

" _I'm glad I see I still have it." He kissed her deeply, pushing her more into the tree as his fingers danced teasingly on her inner thigh._

 _She shuddered with anticipation, trying to reach for his jeans but quickly deciding that he could do all the work. This was all his idea after all. "Neal…"_

" _Is there something you need baby?" He smirked as his fingers traveled upwards and slid through the wetness of her folds. "Something that you're not getting?"_

 _She gasped and attacked his neck, trying to shift her hips, trying to make his fingers end up where she wanted them to._

 _After what seemed like eternity, his thumb finally found her nub, rubbing it a few times, making her moan loudly._

 _He chuckled and took his hand away, ignoring her whine, and freed his hard erection. "Miss this?"_

* * *

"Was what I did that wrong?" Killian was waiting for her downstairs the next day. After her sobbing fit, she must have fallen asleep and he must have chosen not to wake the bear, or something like that.

She opened her mouth to snap something rude at him, but before she could, noticed the pieces of her shattered phone on the kitchen table in front of him. So he was up there for something last night. "I think you can figure that one out on your own." Her voice came out quieter than she meant it.

He chuckled with not much humor behind it. "Swan, it's no secret that your mother is a forced to be reckoned with, but the news was going to break sometime, and I reckon that someday you will be glad it was last night."

She ignored him as she opened a cupboard, looking for some sort of cracker that she was already well aware that they didn't have. After moving boxes around in silence for a few minutes, she sighed and shut the cabinet, turning around to find him still sitting there. "You can just throw that away." She frowned.

"Even if it can be fixed?"

She gave him a curt nod. "I'll just get a new one. Isn't that the attitude around here. Nonchalant, nothing matters, nobody's feelings anyways. Because you may not want me to get a new phone. You'll have to learn a brand new one on the rare occasion that you have to use my phone. Oh, and plus its a waste of money. We could have used that money on flowers for out front of a new roof, but no, since I don't care what anyone else wants like everybody else, I am going to get myself a new phone."

He gave her a confused look, but had a feeling that she already knew that really didn't make sense. "Go ahead, love, whatever makes you happy."

"I will never be happy that you told my mother before I was ready to tell her!" She was going to just walk away, maybe walk completely out of the house, but something made her turn back and snap that.

"You-"

"No I won't!" She grabbed the back of her phone and shook it at him. "I guarantee that I won't! Do you want to know why?!" As she waited for him to answer, she picked up the rest of her phone and dramatically threw it in the trash, smiling when she imagined her mother trying to call her frantically and getting voicemail every time. Then again, she knew that eventually Snow would come bursting through the front door.

But she may find a pirate with his own hook in his eye if he didnt wipe the stupid look from his face.

"Because this is about more than just your mother? You didn't want Henry to have to deal with it if…?" Killian trailed off, not even wanting to think it.

"No!" Emma interrupted right away. "I mean yes! Of course that's partly why! That would be horrible! But no!"

"Oh…?" It was apparent that the pirate did not know how to handle or respond to her rage and that just annoyed her further.

"Yeah. Oh! Maybe I didn't want my parents and my son and the whole freeking town to think I was a whore yet! Did you ever think of that! That maybe I needed some time to figure things out in my own head before I have to deal with people staring at me as I walk down the street, knowing that they're thinking 'oh! There goes our resident savior whore! Who's dick is she saving today?' But now I don't get that, so thanks for that, really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you." She gave him one last look and went to head out the door, grabbing her shoes in the entryway on the way.

She opened the door, and made it across the porch and down two steps before he decided to follow her. "Emma wait! Emma, just because we aren't married yet, does not mean that people will think you are a…..whatever word you used. We're only a few weeks from saying our vows, it doesn't mean you're a bad person…."

"It does when the baby might not be yours!"

 **A/N: I'm glad to see that everyone is excited that I'm back. Thank you all for your support and reviews! It means so much.**


	3. Chapter 3

_It does when the baby not be yours._

She was pretty sure nobody was on the street when she shouted those words in her front yard, but then again, she hastily got in the bug and drove off of it without really checking. She would have walked, but that would have made it ten times easier for Killian to catch up with her and besides, she could swear her feet were already starting to swell from the squatter inside of her womb.

She would have to go pay Whale a visit soon.

Like always, the thought of going up to the hospital was pushed quickly out of her mind, as she noticed where she was subconsciously driving to. As she got out of the car, she looked over her shoulder before slamming her door shut, in case he did follow her that quickly. When she saw that the street was empty, she ducked through the gates of the graveyard and wasted no time locating his grave.

There was fresh wild flowers on it, no doubt because Belle had paid a recent visit on behalf of her husband. For a dead man, Neal was insanely lucky. The only one with anything decorating his grave, and a stepmother who goes through the trouble to never let dead flowers adorn it for more than a day.

It actually made Emma feel small in comparison, seeing as how she never once brought flowers. If she was being honest with herself though, she didn't come often enough to bring anything, and that made her feel a whole other world of guilt. She only found herself here when she needed him.

She sank down in front of his grave, not caring that the grass was still dewy, and ran her hand gently over his name.

Beloved son, Neal Cassidy.

He was much more than just a son, and she distinctly remembered the fight she had with Rumple about it. Some would say it wasn't worth it, but for Henry, anything was worth it and to this day she still felt that the word father should be somewhere on that gravestone.

Was it childish or disrespectful to write it in black magic marker? Or….yeah, she kept forgetting carving the word into the stone was probably well within her magical means. How much would Rumpelstiltskin kill her if that happened?

At this point though she had a feeling Hook would do that job for him.

"I really wish you were alive right now, Neal. I need your help…No, screw the help, i just need you..."

" _Where is Handless Wonder and our son?"_

 _That was the question he usually asked when they met in what they thought were their secret hiding spots. It was almost always the same answers out of her mouth, asleep, on the ship, with Regina…. Until she didn't care anymore and just grunted, tearing at his shirt right away._

" _Not tonight baby." He grabbed her hands one night causing her to whine._

 _He chuckled somewhat and sat her down on his bed at Grannies. "This was only supposed to be a next time thing…" He started as she gave him a look. "Well, you know what I mean. I was supposed to win you from Hook, not make you keep cheating. We are not the type of people that… I'm not that type of man…"_

" _And I'm not a whore either" She quickly interrupted._

" _Then promise me that when I send you home you'll break up with him...or you know, whatever you would like to call it"_

 _She nodded. "When you send me home?"_

 _He smirked and pulled her waist closer to him. "Well, yeah because I was thinking…..have you ever played in one of Grannies showers before?"_

Killian didn't follow her to the graveyard like she expected him to, but he definitely made his presence known when Emma turned her key into the lock later that night. The pirate had substituted his normal inconspicuous flask of rum for the whole bottle. He had it held tightly in his good hand as he paced, or rather stumbled across the ground floor of the house with an angry looking scowl on his face.

"Woah, that bottle was full in the pantry yesterday, you said you were going to pace yourself." She needed to break the ice, and that was the best way to do it.

"You said mine were going to be the only private parts you were going to indulge in." He threw back.

 _Fair enough…._

She didn't respond to him, and just stepped on the pedal to the garbage can, pointing for him to throw the empty rum bottle inside. Which turned out to be a mistake also, considering how it ended up smashed to smithereens on the kitchen floor. She winced at the noise. "Is Henry here, don't you dare wake him up."

"Why? So he doesnt find out his mother is a lying cheating whore? He'll find out soon enough. What do you expect to do? Lie to him forever?" The pirate spat.

"I didn't cheat!" She raised her voice slightly.

"Oh? So when you said there's a chance the child isnt mine you were just, what? Joking?" He slammed opened a random cupboard, seemingly looking for more liquor. "That is pretty low, Swan. Even for you."

"No! Of course not!" She exclaimed, ignoring the fact that she didn't know what he meant by his last sentence.

"Then who did you cheat on me with?!" The cupboard slammed closed again. "Oh, wait, don't tell me, I can guess!"

Emma had no doubt that he could. "It wasn't cheating! We weren't even living together at the time, Killian! I wasn't even sure if-"

"If you had feelings for me?! Well after he died you sure as hell figured that out rather quickly. Enough with the excuses, Emma. That's all they are, excuses. So you know what? You can take them and have fun with them because I'm not a fool. I'm not playing these games anymore. You can send my stuff to the docks. Where you can find me. From now on. Even if that child, by some miracle, ends up being sired by me. End of discussion." He scowled at her and broke the glass that he was holding, just dropping the shattered glass to the floor and slammed the door behind him.

 _Just coffee._

 _That's what the text message said._

 _Emma didn't believe that, so she put in some extra effort while she got ready, or, as much as she could from her office._

 _After she dragged the brush that she kept in her desk through her hair, she walked into Grannies as casually as she could, and made it seem like she was surprised that Neal was there. She ordered a hot chocolate and sat down across from him._

" _I had my limit of caffeine today." She explained when he sort of smirked down into his coffee mug._

" _Rough night?" There was a hint of a joke in his voice._

" _Something like that." She smiled at Ruby who set her mug down on the table rather quickly, almost like she was expecting her. "I….Henry did have a big science project due today."_

 _Neal scoffed and shook his head. "For some reason, kid's believe that fathers can't help with homework anymore."_

" _I think that's a problem as old as time."_

 _He laughed again and looked into her eyes, and she was instantly home. More home then she was the previous night when she was standing at the stove at her actual home cooking dinner for her almost fiance and son._

 _She wasn't sure if the sudden warmness she felt was from her cheeks or the temperature of the diner, but she slipped her jacket off anyways._

" _You hurt yourself." Neal immediately noticed the white ace bandage she had wrapped around her lower arm._

 _She looked down at it, suddenly wishing that she remembered that it was there and that she didn't take her coat off. "Not really, I mean, I guess...but it's just a little thing. This is overkill. Henry used up all the bandages…."_

" _And you couldn't stop at the pharmacy and get more at any point today?" He chuckled. "Come on, what did you do?"_

 _She looked down briefly. She could make an excuse, but for the life of her, she couldn't think of a single one that would be plausible. She fell of the bed? To insane…. She stabbed herself with a knife chopping up celery? Why would anyone cut themself on the forearm with a knife? Why would she be cutting up celery? Burning herself? Yes! That would be extremely likely to happen!_

 _She muttered it to him halfheartedly, but he just rolled his eyes. "Ask me if I believe you right now, Emma"_

" _Well you should!" She defended louder._

" _Show me then."_

" _Show you! That's hardly sanitary in the middle of a diner"_

" _We could go upstairs…"_

 _She pursed her lips. "Thought we were just drinking?"_

 _He sighed and sat back. "Someone's frustrating today"._

" _Someone's pushy today!" She shot back._

 _He gave her a look of annoyance which she conveniently avoided by looking at the bottom of her coffee cup._

" _Come on, Emma." He groaned. "I know your lying, so why don't you just give it up?"_

" _Why do you care that much?" She threw at him._

 _He gave her a look that was halfway between a hurt puppy dog and being annoyed beyond belief._

 _She sighed. "Fine! I didn't burn myself! I….I got stabbed."_

 _He looked at her in shock "By a knife?"_

" _No! God no! By a…...well, Killian…." She looked down. "He…"_

" _His hook?!" How the hell did that happen?" There was a slight chuckle in his voice, but nothing compared to the laughter that was coming._

 _She could feel her cheeks turning scarlet. "He...He left it on."_

 _There was a split second of confusion on Neal's face before reality dawned on him and the laughter started. "Oh my god, Emma, really?!"_

 _She ducked her head and groaned._

Emma immediately dropped to her knees and started picking up the tiny glass pieces that Killian had left in his wake. There was surprisingly no tears, and just one lonely little thought, that she had to clean up the kitchen before Henry came down for breakfast and and started asking the questions that she didn't want to answer yet. Then again, perhaps she should just leave the mess there, that way it would force her to answer said questions because who was she kidding? She knew the answer to all of them, she was just stalling. No, the chances of Killian ever crossing over that threshold again were slim to none because she did the worst thing anyone could ever do to him. Yes, she was hiding what she did for this long on purpose. No, she was not giving up the….

 _The baby…._

When she found out she was pregnant, a thousand fears hit her, because, well, why wouldn't they? The fears of not being able to do it. The fear of missing out on the bottles and diapers phase with Henry so not being able to handle it with her second kid. All those fears were quickly dashed though when she remembered that she wouldn't be alone.

But now, suddenly, she was.

So what in the world was she expected to do now? Yes, there was a chance that Killian would change his mind and want to be in the child's life if it was his, but that was a slim chance, and even still, he wouldn't be present all the time, that she was absolutely sure of.

So what now?

How was she going to face her parents no matter what decision she came to? How was she supposed to face them the next morning? She already was taking a half of day away from the station for an appointment with Whale (which just got ten thousand times more awkward) would it be that suspicious if she took the full day off? Would it seem like she was avoiding everyone?

She sighed and got up, turning around to dump the contents of the dustpan in the garbage.

"Mom?"

The voice caused her to jump and nearly spill the fragments again. "Hey kid, don't do that." She attempted to keep a chuckle in her voice.

"Sorry" He walked in more, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "What happened?"  
"Nothing." She dumped the mess in the garbage and went to pick up the hand broom.

"Sure, I believe that." Before she could get all the way down, he scooped it of the floor, took the dustpan away from her and went to go put them where they belonged. "Seriously, it's like two in the morning, mom, what's going on and don't say you dropped a bottle, because that was may more than just a bottle breaking and the doors were slamming. Did you and Hook have a fight?"

Sometimes, Emma couldn't decide if Henty's intelligence made things easier or harder.

She nodded. "And I know you are exaggerating about the two am thing, but you still should be asleep."

He rolled his eyes. "I was getting a glass of water, and…"

"You heard, didn't you?" Emma pursed her lips and got two glasses down from the cabinet, briefly entertaining the idea of a shot of Rum herself, but getting water instead.

"The whole thing," he nodded and sat down at the table. "He really left?"

"Yeah, kid, thats what happens when you hurt someone." She sighed and leaned against the counter. "Word to the wise, don't do it…...you are free to go to bed you know."

He shook his head. "I got a hurting Mom to take care of."

She gave him a look. "You have school tomorrow."

"Hurting, fragile mom….plus she has my sister or brother inside of her, so making sure you're okay trump's school."

She gave him a ghost of a smile. "The strict mom in me doesn't like that idea at all, but the soft gooey mushy proud mom in me….well, Regina will just have to deal with the absence call tomorrow."

" _Happy Birthday, Em."_

 _She looked up, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. "Did I miss something? Did my parents decide to make a royal decree to change my birthday and forget to tell me?"_

 _He chuckled. "No, not exactly. I was just thinking last night, I missed a lot of your birthdays, so I want to celebrate them today."_

" _All of them?" She mentally counted as she raised her eyebrow._

 _He shrugged. "Well, yeah, and all of the christmas's and…..everything."_

" _Well...it sounds like...you better get working?" she straightened the paperwork on her desk._

" _I don't need too." He sat on the edge of her desk._

" _Okayy, you think your so good that all you have to do is state it and it becomes true?"_

 _He grinned at her. "Better." He glanced behind him to make sure nobody snuck in during the past ten seconds, and the dug in his jacket pocket to produce a ring box._

" _Holy shit! No!" Her eyes widened._

" _Emma Swan!" He put a hand up to his heart, mocking being hurt. "Did your mother raise you to act this way?"_

 _She smirked as she flipped a pen between her fingers. "I was basically self taught and that's apparently not an engagement ring."_

" _What if it was? You said no and basically shattered my heart into a million pieces already so now it's pointless to show you it."_

" _Show me what's in the box." She went to grab it, but he was too quick for her._

" _Do you have a broom? Because you might want to use it to sweep up my heart."_

 _She pushed his shoulder gently, catching his lips in a gentle kiss. "I think I'll keep them on the floor. So I can crush them more everyday."_

 _He scoffed. "Meanie"_

" _Hey, someone else should have to suffer when I muddle through this paperwork too, so it's really not my fault" She made another attempt for the ring box._

" _Hey!" He complained when she pried his fingers off of it._

 _She stuck out her tongue and opened up the tiny hinges to reveal a simple ring. Simple but still diamond._

" _Neal Cassidy!"_

Emma woke up with the ring that Neal had given her just a few days before his death clutched in her hand. She blinked at it, wondering how she didn't lose it amongst the sheets during the night. Although, as she looked at the clock, it had been just been a few hours since she climbed the stairs and fell down on her side of the bed anyways. According to her memory, she didn't go into her top dresser dresser drawer where the ring was kept at all. She definitely remembered throwing Killians pillow across the room, and then after staring at it for a while, his ring followed. Did Henry come and check on her after she fell asleep? Did he somehow know about the ring she managed to hide from the pirate for months? Or did she just sleepwalk or something?

She rolled over a little bit and looked the clock, groaning when she realized that she was severely late for her appointment with Whale and quickly calculating if she even wanted to bother showing up at all.

As she tried to sit up the answer quickly turned to no. Grabbing her head and groaning she called Henry's name.

"The kids at school, I think. Either that, or an underground rave, and I don't think they have those things until the sun goes down, but then again, if you think about it, that defeats the purpose of it being underground…."

She screamed and practically fell off the bed.

"Woah, woah, woah! I wasn't serious about the rave thing. Well, I think…"

His hand fell on her shoulder as he said the words, in some vain attempt to keep her on the bed, but when she looked down at it, and found that it looked just as familiar as the voice sounded, she scrambled off of the bed anyways.

"Em…?"

She didn't look at him fully. Not now, not until…

"Is this a dream? Am I really dreaming right now?" She pinched the skin at her opposite elbow to wake herself up.

"I was wondering that too, but we both can't be dreaming the same dream. That's kind of impossible." He held out a hand in front of his face inspecting it.

"No matter what this is it's kind of impossible!" She hissed.

He dropped his hand and peered at her for a silent minute, not being able to stop himself from thinking that even in this frazzled moment, she still looked beautiful. "A miracle then."

"A miracle?! You're not real!" She tore her eyes away and collected her clothes from yesterday that were on the floor. "I'm going to get dressed, go downstairs and take some Advil, and go see Whale. By the time I get back, everything will be okay."

He blinked a few times. "Will be okay?! It is okay! Look Emma. I'm here, I'm real." He poked his own skin like it would prove everything. "Wait...why do you have to go to Whales? Are you hurt? Sick?"

She scoffed. "The whole 'he's watching over you' thing is bullcrap…."

"What makes you say that?" He rubbed the back of his head.

"Because if you had been watching over me you would know whats wrong!"

He muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like 'time of the month' but quickly backtracked when he saw her glare. "Well, you know, we don't see everything. We kind of get busy. But we eventually catch up. Sort of like a movie."

She stared at him like he was stupid. "This can not be real….this isn't real.." She walked through the threshold of her bedroom.

"But it is real. Emma!" He bounded across the room. "I'm real! Any other questions, well, we are going to have to go for my father for, but I am as real as you are right now! Look!" He grabbed her hand and pulled gently so that she was up against him.

She looked up at him with wide, almost flustered eyes. She was quite aware of how her still rather flat stomach brushed against...well, something. The smell radiating off of him was familiar and calming though, so she did not fight.

"Tell me what's wrong.." He quietly pleaded.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." As she said those words, she chastised herself for them. Of course he would believe her, what a dumb thing to say. It was her who didn't believe what was happening right now.

The look he gave her said exactly the same thing.

"This is insane!" She broke away from his grasp, but instead of making a run for it out the door, she sat on the bed and sighed. "I'm…..I'm pregnant…"

A grin lighting up his whole face was his first reaction. A real genuine Neal grin, the one that she missed so much. "That's great, Emma!"

As she watched, though, his facial expression fell slightly when he realized something. It only lasted for a few moments, his eyes going through all the emotions she expected them too, before he settled into the grin again.

"I mean, thats is really terrific. Henry's going to get a little tyke to play with."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, yeah, I guess, but…"

"But what, Em? It is terrific. Its your second chance. You deserve it. Take it." He stood in front of her.

"But…" she squeaked again but then swallowed the rest of her words for a second time.

He seemed to sigh. "I just complicated things...I…" He frowned.

"No Neal…" She sighed yet again, frustrated and pointed to the pillow across the room.

He followed her finger, and then looked back at her weirdly. "I don't…" He frowned deeper and looked at the discarded pillow again, and then at her finger. "Did he not...take it well?" There was a deeper question in the sound of his voice, she could tell. "Em, I'm sorry, but, look…"

"I just shocked him and he just needs some time to wrap his head around it and then he'll be back?" She tried to keep some of the hysteria out of her voice, but some of it bubbled up anyways. "No, Neal, that's never going to happen. Ever."

He shook his head, looking confused. "The man was going to marry you, Em…"

Yes, because of coarse he seen that. What? The moment Killian proposed, he turned off his TV or however he was watching her? She shook her head and played with her hands. "He's not coming back because he can't trust me anymore. He's pissed and he deserves to be. I told him that I wasn't sure that the baby is his...and I.." She ended with a lame little shrug.  
He blinked, and then his eyeline fell down to her tangled bedsheets where the ring he gave her was still nestled. "Emma…"

"I'm not sure whose it is!" She put a hand up when he started to come closer. "So don't get excited, it will do nobody any good. Just…" She looked down. "Just...stop."

"But why?" He ignored her hand and sat next to her, taking both of hers all in one motion. "Why do I have to stop? I don't know why I have to stop. All I know is that I am here, in this room, holding your hands when before, well, I wasn't. I was watching you move on with your life. I was watching you get engaged and who knows what else and I was happy for you, Em, I really was but now...I'm here. You're fairly intelligent, you know? So you know there has to be a reason that I am sitting on this bed. Yeah, maybe it is for something stupid like to help Henry with his science project or something, but maybe it's for something bigger. It has to be for something bigger. I choose to believe that. So let me."


	4. Chapter 4

" _Do you ever want more kids?"_

 _The question came out of the blue, causing Emma to raise her eyebrow at him._

" _Come on, Em. I think it's a serious question."_

" _Because if I say yes you think you can stop using condoms?"_

" _No. Because if you say yes I can think about marriage"_

" _Marriage?!"_

" _Okay. Forget marriage, just...I'm curious, okay, Em? Every question doesn't have to have a evil plan attached to it. I'm not Regina."_

" _Depends on who you talk to," she muttered._

" _Alright," he sighed "Forget it, forget I even said anything."_

" _Neal…"_

" _No, Emma. Obviously I just freaked you out. Obviously you can't think about anything more than a damn curse and a pirate so…." He got up and started to pace his room at Grannies._

" _Unfair!" She loudly defended herself. "Completely. Obviously I'm not at a point in my life to think about having more children so your question is fairly moot to begin with…"_

" _You will never be at a point where you can think about your future, I know." He looked down sadly. "Even though you are managing Henry just fine and a whole bunch of other things that it doesn't really matter if I say or not because you're not listening, so whatever, like I said, forget it."_

 _She winced when the door slammed closed._

The thought of asking the Dark One to make a house call was completely ridiculous, so Emma just called his wife to do it instead. As she hung up the phone and placed it on the counter, she pretended that it was perfectly normal to accept houseguests with the intent on revealing that you were hiding a dead guy upstairs.

Perfectly normal.

But maybe the terms "hiding" and "dead guy" were the wrong terms.

She groaned as she glanced outside and saw the burnette already bustling up the front path like she thought it was a emergency. Although, from the slight hysteria that Emma couldn't get out of her voice no matter how much she tried, she probably did think it was an emergency

"I was already in the neighborhood." Belle threw a smile in with her explanation as Emma let her through the threshold. "What can I do for you?"

"If you had a drink that would be nice." Emma muttered under her breath. "Actually, it's not what you can do for me. Actually, there's someone here to see you. Well, not you exactly, but I figured you will have a hell of a lot better reaction then the person that really is needed so…" She trailed of awkwardly and glanced at Belle who couldn't have possibly looked more confused even if she tried.

She cleared her throat as she and the brunette reached the top landing and watched as the father of her eldest child poked his head out of her bedroom trying to keep a smirk off his face.

"Hey Belle." He greeted as if it was a normal Monday.

Emma expected her to faint, but instead she just froze in the middle of the hallway and blinked a few times. "Neal?"

He stepped fully out and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, uh..last time I checked…"

"Neal! I mean...what…?"

"Emma didn't parade a dead guy across town to deal with papa so…" He shrugged stepping closer. "Shouldn't we…?" He nodded down the steps.

Emma sighed, he was the one who wanted to stay up here because according to him there was a lot lot hazardous things up here in case of passing out.

"Are you?" Belle asked as she followed his direction. "Dead I mean?"

 _Only in Storybrooke…_

"I don't think so, I mean, you can feel my pulse if you want"

Belle reached the bottom of the stairs again, and she turned back to him looking faintly green. "I think I trust you."

"And I think you should drink this." Emma handed her a glass of water.

She graciously took it and went to sit down on the couch.

"So have you ever heard of this happening? In one of your books?" Both Emma and Neal gave her space and sat in the chairs opposite of her.

"Well, of course there's tales of… ghosts and the like but….h-he's a person."

"With a heartbeat," he felt the need to interject again. "Ghosts don't have heartbeats, also they're all pale, or translucent even and I'm pretty sure that you can't see through me. Also before you ask, I"m not wearing a sheet over my head either."

Emma rolled her eyes, while Belle just seemed annoyed.

"I'm sorry, I just...never heard of this before," She offered after another moment of reflection.

"S'okay." Neal rubbed his hands on his jeans. "Papa can hopefully fill in the blanks and if not, well, I guess I'll just be a walking mystery, which if you think about it, makes me fit in here like never before."

"It happened before."

Emma exchanged a surprised glance at her companions at Gold's words.

"Well, it's rumored to have happened, before my time." As he corrected himself, he looked at his son again like he didn't believe he was really in front of him. A feeling Emma completely understood.

"Thats hard to believe." Neal did his normal nervous reaction of rubbing the back of his neck. "Seeing as I'm as old as time itself, yes I know." Rumple gave a little smirk, not seeming like his normal self at all for the tiniest of seconds. "But believe it or not, it was before my time. The legend says that …." He paused and looked around at his three companions faces. "Well you see...the specifics aren't clear because it was before any semblance of a kingdom, but there was a war or battle of some kind, between other people or creatures it's unclear, and…"

Emma chuckled to herself a little when he trailed of again. His confusion was somewhat hysterical.

"And he perished in battle and then for some reason came back to life." Neal interrupted. "It's okay papa, you don't have to know everything."

At that Emma frowned, 'yeah it happened before' didn't answer any of her questions.

"It was believed to be because of true love" Rumplestiltskin looked uncomfortable.

"Makes sense." Neal muttered just low enough that Emma could barely make out the words.

"What happened to him afterwards though?! What made him and his...partner so special?" Emma started pacing. "Those are the important questions."

"What made your parents so special that they passed magic down to you?" Belle challenged like the hopeless romantic that she was. "Fate just happens and when it does, it's best not to miss the chance" She offered them both a knowing smile.

But she didn't know the half of it.

"Ever watched the tinkerbell movies, Em? Faith, trust and pixie dust? That's all we have to go on. Well, maybe not the pixie dust part…"

All three of them looked at Neal like he was insane, which to be fair, he probably was.

"I have to trust that you won't just suddenly disappear on me at probably the worst time ever? Yeah, obviously, because no matter how much random information this man has about things, when I come searching for the one thing that answers are absolutely necessary too, he drops the ball." Without a glance at any of them she hurried out the door, imagining the little stupid bell breaking as she slammed the door.


End file.
